In the description below, I covered the explanation of my process. It's about the important influence and changes that life has brought to me through learning and understanding the AEQ method.
I met a friend of mine a while ago (with similar problems with the symptoms of multiple sclerosis-like myself), and I immediately noticed that she looked great and was moving and walking with ease, and then she told me with great enthusiasm... 'just try the AEQ method'. She didn't give me any descriptions or explanations. I just felt the meeting had some purpose, so I decided right away to consider the method.
So Aleš and I soon set up a meeting to start the process in March. When I first came here, I had only one goal in my mind – to heal my physical condition, but I didn't even know what kind of process it was. He explained it right at the beginning and emphasised the importance of understanding. Understanding the causes, patterns and beliefs, and their influence on specific symptoms that resemble multiple sclerosis. His explanations led me to my childhood, on the path of understanding events and subconscious choices and as a result also my stiff body.
The explanations I received through therapies were repeatedly opening awareness and understanding in my mind, and so I started to understand the impact of my real condition on my physical health. In a short time, I realised that my body was like a house that needed reconstruction. That house needed to be demolished, and then a foundation for new construction built again. I am that foundation. It's what's deep inside me. I understood that physical condition would only be a result of working on myself. I realised that a process was needed in which I would consciously direct my attention to the overall change, and I understood why I had chosen in my childhood to cut off communication with the lower part of my body. That is why it is now the primary goal of the therapy to direct attention to integration with the whole body and sensation.
I realised we were progressing fast already after the first month. I began to feel my legs by performing the exercises and understanding the method. I hadn't been feeling my legs from the knee down for 12 years. I hadn't felt the touch nor a pinch or a mosquito bite. It was like I had a plastic wrapped around my leg and so I learned. Now, through understanding the cause why I felt my legs that way, I feel more, and everything is so strange and intense. Before the AEQ exercises, when I walked with the energy of my shoulders and without control of my legs, I kicked my leg in the hope of landing on a flat surface and by supporting my weight with a walking stick to safely step on that leg, and repeat it with the other leg. Now I control the movement, and I feel how I gently touch the ground with my foot and the pulse goes through my foot. I'm present in the moment, and I'm focused on every move, on every step.
I realised that I was like a child learning to walk, except for being a grown up and it was important to focus a lot of attention on the process. I learned that it was appropriate to be consciously present. I realised that I preferred to run away before, escape into the future and thus despised the importance of that moment. The change I can make and will affect my future is possible only now. So I have actively begun to live in the present moment with my complete attention.
I grasped the importance of time for the whole process. Previously, everything I did gave results fast, but they weren't permanent. Now, I understand that time is essential, as well as making moves step by step.
I feel how my breathing is filling up my body now. I feel which muscles I'm lengthening, which I'm shortening and which are tense during the exercises. How and where my body is filling up with air when I'm breathing and when I learn more through practice. I feel a movement of the pelvis more and an opening of my body because of that.
I suppressed my emotions. I've been concealing them for a long time, but now I'm aware of them, and I feel I'm blossoming by exercising. I had shallow breathing... merely a shallow breath... Now I breathe more in-depth, and I sense the diaphragm. As if I were ventilating my organs with every breathe.
Also, it was vital that I put great emphasis on self-expression, as walking is also a form of expression, and now I have managed to improve my way of articulation, which was unclear just as my walk was uncertain and unsure. It's different now, I articulate clearly and see the improvement daily, especially in relationships. I could say that my speech was more about making a frame around a picture before (if I think a picture is a precise information, and its frame is a ballast around it, all to make the most sense of what I have to say). Now I am striving to depict a clear picture, even if sometimes without a frame.
I also learned about the importance of understanding the vagina and sexuality differently, and I entered a world of different apprehension through a reading recommended book. The connection of the vagina with the proper functioning of the nervous system was new to me. Moreover, I realised that I saw this part of myself, through patterns and beliefs, more like something one should be ashamed of rather than as an essential centre of all everything in the body. So now I also understand the tightness of muscles and their effect on my physical condition in a different way. I am not ashamed of myself anymore, and I express myself frankly. Opening to being in touch with my emotions was also a great sensation for me in this process, and I am allowing myself to live. Before, I always felt like I was inappropriate like anything I did would never be right despite the knowledge I had.
I love myself now, and I understand I can do a lot for myself within the plan of decisive change.
In addition to emotions and sensations, the energy is another great gift for me; the energy I have throughout a day that I can use as I like. I had chronic fatigue earlier. Moreover, I got to know and understand my muscular constriction and the excessive activation of the sympathetic nervous system because of the contraction, as I was continually cultivating vibration of constant readiness or the need for being consistently active and not allowing myself to rest.
I understand all that now, as the cause of selected symptoms.
I could write some more, but in the things, I have already written about are the main changes and what's left the most significant imprint. Now I understand the process is essential and that everything I learn stays with me… to internalise everything I have learned and to continue learning and improving my understanding of me. To accept and consciously change everything I need to change for a profound, holistic transformation.
Thank you Aleš, and thank you the AEQ Method.